| Introduction |
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1 | (8) |
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PART I Beginning at the Beginning |
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9 | (72) |
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Chapter 1 Six Myths That Limit Us |
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11 | (8) |
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Chapter 2 MYTH: Grieve Alone: Q&A |
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19 | (12) |
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My Husband Never Comes Out of the Bedroom |
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20 | (1) |
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I Wonder Why I Have to Be All By Myself |
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21 | (2) |
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Her Emotional Plate Is Way Beyond Full |
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23 | (2) |
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It's Not Advisable for Family Members to Do Grief Work Together |
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25 | (1) |
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"Let Go" of What? and "Move On" to Where? |
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26 | (2) |
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I'm Scared, but Will Do It Anyway |
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28 | (3) |
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Chapter 3 MYTH: It Just Takes Time: Q&A |
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31 | (18) |
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The Pain Often Gets Worse within Time |
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32 | (2) |
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Do We Ever Really Recover? |
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34 | (2) |
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They Want Us Looking Good and Being Productive 3-5 Days Later! |
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36 | (1) |
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Answering Questions Doesn't Resolve Grief |
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37 | (2) |
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How Long until I'm Happy Again? |
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39 | (1) |
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If You Move On, Are You Letting Go of Them? |
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40 | (3) |
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I Have Morphed into Another Person; How Can I Recover? |
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43 | (2) |
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When Is It Too Soon to Start Dating? |
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45 | (2) |
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When Your Heart Is Broken Your Head Doesn't Work Right |
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47 | (2) |
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Chapter 4 MYTH: Be Strong for Others: Q&A |
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49 | (18) |
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The Real Key Is for You to Go First |
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50 | (2) |
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52 | (2) |
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It's Amazing How Disconnected We Can Feel |
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54 | (2) |
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Saying "I Know How You Feel" Robs Dignity from a Griever |
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56 | (1) |
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Grieving People Need to Talk about What Happened |
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57 | (2) |
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Intervention Doesn't Work with The Grief Recovery Method® |
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59 | (2) |
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I'm Getting Tired of Propping Everyone Else Up |
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61 | (2) |
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All Relationships Are Unique |
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63 | (2) |
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The Word "Imagine" Creates Safety |
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65 | (2) |
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Chapter 5 MYTH: Keep Busy and Short-Term Energy-Relieving Behaviors: Q&A |
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67 | (14) |
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68 | (2) |
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70 | (2) |
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How Do I Deal with the Anger I Feel? |
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72 | (2) |
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Memorial Jewelry Doesn't Heal Your Heart |
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74 | (2) |
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Keeping Busy Just Exhausts Us |
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76 | (2) |
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You Can't Bypass Feelings, You Have to Go through Them |
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78 | (3) |
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PART II The Ongoing Controversy: The Alleged Stages of Grief vs. Typical, Normal, and Natural Responses to Loss |
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81 | (58) |
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Chapter 6 Are There Actual Stages of Grief? |
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83 | (4) |
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Chapter 7 No Stages of Grief: Q&A |
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87 | (10) |
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Statement of Death Is NOT Denial |
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88 | (1) |
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Adapting to the Painful Reality of Death |
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89 | (1) |
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Has the Reality of My Loss Set in Yet? |
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90 | (2) |
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Your Broken Heart Talking! |
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92 | (2) |
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He Won't See Me Graduate, Get Married, or Have Kids |
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94 | (2) |
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I Desperately Need to Know How to Live Again |
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96 | (1) |
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97 | (10) |
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I Still Cry Daily. Is that Normal? |
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98 | (1) |
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Force Myself to Cry to Make People Stop Worrying about Me? |
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99 | (2) |
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Death of a Spouse Can Be Like Losing a Piece of Your Body |
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101 | (2) |
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Feelings Don't Happen "Just Out of the Blue" |
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103 | (1) |
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Very Attached to Their Possessions |
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104 | (3) |
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Chapter 9 Robbed of Goodbye: Q&A |
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107 | (14) |
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Sudden Death Robs Us of a Last Goodbye |
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108 | (1) |
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No Longer Together, but Still Heartbroken |
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109 | (1) |
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Is There Such a Thing as Complicated Grief? |
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110 | (2) |
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When I Need Him One More Time, He's No Longer Here |
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112 | (3) |
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Relationships Are Made Up of Time and Intensity! |
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115 | (1) |
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116 | (2) |
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Cremains as a Permanent Relocatable Grief Recovery Monument |
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118 | (3) |
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Chapter 10 Other Typical, Normal, and Natural Responses to Loss: Q&A |
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121 | (18) |
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Quieting the Inner Dialogue That Never Sleeps |
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122 | (2) |
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Life Itself Just Seems Very Tasteless---Nothing Seems to Matter |
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124 | (2) |
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Inability to Concentrate Is an Almost Universal Reaction |
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126 | (1) |
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127 | (2) |
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Will I Ever Feel Normal Again? |
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129 | (1) |
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The Victims' Families Often Feel as if They Are on Trial |
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130 | (2) |
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The Emotional Pink Elephant in the Living Room |
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132 | (2) |
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Massive Reminders of Someone Who Is No Longer Alive |
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134 | (1) |
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135 | (2) |
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Why Do Families Tear Apart? |
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137 | (2) |
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PART III A Host of Questions on Unique Situations |
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139 | (116) |
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Chapter 11 Holidays, Anniversaries, and Reminders: Q&A |
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141 | (16) |
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Today Is Way Too Long to Stay Stuck in One Feeling |
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142 | (2) |
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Multiple Deaths Make Us Feel Like We're Drowning |
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144 | (1) |
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The Holidays---A Perfect Time to Demonstrate the Truth to Your Children |
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145 | (2) |
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It Is the Fact That He Died That Is Most Important, Not the Method or the Date |
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147 | (2) |
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Resetting the Dysfunctional Default Settings to Create a Fuller Life |
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149 | (2) |
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Things That Don't Get to Happen Because They're No Longer Here |
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151 | (1) |
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Many Grieving People Struggle with Enjoying Themselves |
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152 | (2) |
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Will I Ever Be Able to Stop Being Numb and Let Go? |
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154 | (3) |
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Chapter 12 Stuck on a Painful Image: Q&A |
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157 | (14) |
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Staying Stuck on a Painful Image Keeps Us Stuck in Grief |
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158 | (1) |
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Tragic Deaths Compound Our Pain |
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159 | (2) |
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Trying "Not" to Think about It Doesn't Work |
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161 | (1) |
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Completion, Not Closure---An Important Distinction |
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162 | (2) |
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164 | (2) |
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We Know What They Would Have Said |
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166 | (1) |
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As She Was Dying, My Mother Shut Me Out |
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167 | (2) |
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I Know There's Nothing I Could've Done to Stop Him |
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169 | (2) |
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Chapter 13 Guilt and Blame: Q&A |
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171 | (18) |
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The "Story-Line" Sometimes Trumps the "Heart-Line" |
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172 | (3) |
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But for One Second Earlier or Later, Our Lives Are Changed Forever |
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175 | (2) |
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How Do I Accept the Things I Did? |
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177 | (2) |
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The Good, The Bad, and Sometimes, The Ugly |
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179 | (2) |
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Sometimes We Have to Break Our Promises |
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181 | (2) |
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Walking Through Life Without Your Mate |
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183 | (1) |
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Left with Unfinished Emotional Business |
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184 | (2) |
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186 | (2) |
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The Nursing Home Facility Mistreated My Mom |
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188 | (1) |
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Chapter 14 Death, Divorce, and Difficult Relationships: Q&A |
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189 | (22) |
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On Being "Ruled from the Grave" |
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190 | (1) |
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When the Last Interaction Was Negative |
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191 | (2) |
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Confused and Overwhelmed by the Death of a Former Spouse |
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193 | (3) |
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Discovery Does Not Equal Recovery |
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196 | (3) |
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Families and Legal Mayhem |
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199 | (1) |
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The "Warm and Fuzzies" That Never Happened |
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200 | (2) |
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The Death of the Person Who Harmed You |
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202 | (2) |
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Some Family Members Disassociate Themselves from Others After a Death |
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204 | (2) |
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Losses of Safety and Trust---The Painful By-products of Spousal Abuse |
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206 | (2) |
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Alcohol Can Leave a Trail of Destruction in Its Wake! |
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208 | (1) |
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Rather Than Reconcile, Become as Emotionally Complete as Possible |
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209 | (2) |
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211 | (44) |
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Putting Together a Puzzle with Very Few Pieces |
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212 | (1) |
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A Recurring Dream... After 58 Years |
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213 | (2) |
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Missing People We Never Really Knew |
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215 | (1) |
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My Daughter Wants to Take the Plane to Heaven to See Her Grandpa |
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216 | (1) |
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217 | (2) |
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An Eleven-Year-Old's Upset Reactions to Questions about Death |
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219 | (2) |
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Helping Children in Foster Care Deal with Multiple Losses |
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221 | (2) |
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Explaining Death to Young Children and to a Child with Special Needs |
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223 | (2) |
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Whether or Not to Take Children to Funerals or Memorials |
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225 | (2) |
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Are Bedwetting and Grief Related? |
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227 | (2) |
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Three Little Girls Ask When Daddy Will Be Home |
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229 | (1) |
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Helping a Four-Year-Old Know Who His Mother Really Was |
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230 | (1) |
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Going to Church Reminds a Twelve-Year-Old of His Dad's Death |
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231 | (4) |
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235 | (2) |
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237 | (1) |
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Time Doesn't Heal---Actions Do |
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237 | (3) |
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240 | (2) |
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242 | (3) |
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Normal and Natural Reactions to Death |
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245 | (7) |
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252 | (3) |
| About the Authors |
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255 | |