| Foreword |
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1 | (4) |
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Chapter 1 Being a Scary Mommy |
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5 | (6) |
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The Scary Mommy Manifesto |
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9 | (2) |
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Chapter 2 THIS Is Supposed to Be Beautiful? |
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11 | (9) |
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Chapter 3 Yes, You'll Shit on the Delivery Table |
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20 | (7) |
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Chapter 4 Are They Really Letting Me Take This Thing Home? |
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27 | (7) |
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Chapter 5 Paying for the Nine-Month Binge |
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34 | (6) |
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40 | (6) |
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46 | (5) |
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Chapter 8 Subjectively Revolting |
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51 | (5) |
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Chapter 9 There Are No Sick Days in Motherhood |
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56 | (5) |
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Chapter 10 Grilled Cheese, Squared |
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61 | (4) |
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Chapter 11 The "Perfect" Picture |
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65 | (5) |
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Chapter 12 The Mommy Club |
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70 | (5) |
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Chapter 13 The Biggest Baby of All |
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75 | (5) |
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Chapter 14 I Like You Best... Today |
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80 | (7) |
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Chapter 15 I Hate Other People's Kids (Not Yours, of Course) |
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87 | (7) |
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Chapter 16 This "Vacation" Sure Is a Lot of Work |
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94 | (6) |
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Chapter 17 Freedom of Speech |
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100 | (4) |
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104 | (8) |
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Chapter 19 Searching for Mary Poppins |
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112 | (6) |
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Chapter 20 The Xanax Approach to Parenting |
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118 | (8) |
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Chapter 21 The Twelve-Foot-Deep Death Trap (aka the Pool) |
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126 | (6) |
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Chapter 22 Didn't I Already Graduate? |
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132 | (8) |
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Chapter 23 Girl, Repeated |
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140 | (5) |
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Chapter 24 The Aching-Ovary Epidemic |
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145 | (5) |
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Chapter 25 The Mommy Races |
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150 | (6) |
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Chapter 26 More Mommy Confessions |
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156 | (10) |
| Acknowledgments |
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166 | |